Get back to where you once belonged
Life has been like that lately.
I haven't had much to say, blog wise, but I've been terribly busy anyway, I suppose getting back to the business of pleasure. I won't go into it all tonight, but the abbreviated version is that I changed jobs, a hard but necessary decision, and practially seamlessly transitioned into a new, better, equally compelling but much healthier work environment. That was like a domino falling into a long row, and with it came much looking hard, much truth telling, much better frame of mind, better relationship stuff, and a general melting away of walls of defense I had erected around myself to deal with the stress of my former job. Walls that, admittedly, I had not meant to allow to extend so fully into other aspects of my life and my interactions with my important people. Things are not perfect right now, but I'm happy at work, and remembering how much simple things make me really happy. Soap bubbles. Morgan laughing about an imaginary mouse. A woman in a business suit busting out her best dance moves on the train at 8:15 in the morning as she grooves to her ipod. The landscape of Manhattan, integrating itself into my everyday scenery once again. I had really missed being in the city everyday, and I feel like a part of myself that I boxed off is coming back to me now.
It's crazy how much of an effect a stressful work environment can have on the rest of your life, kind of like blood seeping through your favorite pair of jeans. You wash them, you still wear them, but you've always got that insecurity that someone can see the stain, even if there's nothing really there at all.
I let it do that to me, I think. The insecurity, the bleeding. There wasn't really anything there at all, but I let it creep in. And grow. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about, and that's okay. For now, just the happiness counts.
More to come, but for now, soap bubbles and a silly grin sustain.
Take care, people. ¶ 11:49 PM
Thursday, September 28, 2006
I was doing the dishes tonight, something I hate, and when I picked up the bottle of dish liquid and squeezed it, a thousand little mini bubbles shot out of the spout and floated around my face. They were so small they were moving with my breath, in a swirl, all around me. I laughed out loud. Four more times I picked up the bottle, and every time I was treated to a shot of tiny little shimmering soap bubbles.Life has been like that lately.
I haven't had much to say, blog wise, but I've been terribly busy anyway, I suppose getting back to the business of pleasure. I won't go into it all tonight, but the abbreviated version is that I changed jobs, a hard but necessary decision, and practially seamlessly transitioned into a new, better, equally compelling but much healthier work environment. That was like a domino falling into a long row, and with it came much looking hard, much truth telling, much better frame of mind, better relationship stuff, and a general melting away of walls of defense I had erected around myself to deal with the stress of my former job. Walls that, admittedly, I had not meant to allow to extend so fully into other aspects of my life and my interactions with my important people. Things are not perfect right now, but I'm happy at work, and remembering how much simple things make me really happy. Soap bubbles. Morgan laughing about an imaginary mouse. A woman in a business suit busting out her best dance moves on the train at 8:15 in the morning as she grooves to her ipod. The landscape of Manhattan, integrating itself into my everyday scenery once again. I had really missed being in the city everyday, and I feel like a part of myself that I boxed off is coming back to me now.
It's crazy how much of an effect a stressful work environment can have on the rest of your life, kind of like blood seeping through your favorite pair of jeans. You wash them, you still wear them, but you've always got that insecurity that someone can see the stain, even if there's nothing really there at all.
I let it do that to me, I think. The insecurity, the bleeding. There wasn't really anything there at all, but I let it creep in. And grow. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about, and that's okay. For now, just the happiness counts.
More to come, but for now, soap bubbles and a silly grin sustain.
Take care, people. ¶ 11:49 PM
