Patriotism is a word that has always felt slightly alienating to me. Growing up, the Patriots were a sports team at the middle school, and the word evoked the mental image of drums beating and screaming sports fans packed into Friday night stadiums, and parents and school administrators who extended a universe of special priviledges to kids who walked around like arrogant assholes most of the time. It had nothing to do with me and my bookish, geeky life.
When I got a little older, notions of patriotism coincided with the mainstream emergence of extremist militia groups beginning to make themselves known in places like Montana, Colorado and Tennessee. Patriotism, if prevalent enough to be called into identity politics, equalled radical zealotry and violence in the name of country.
After 9/11, patriotism took on a whole new frightening meaning. With one sentence, with one damning declaration, President Bush ushered us all into a new America where thoughtful political discourse is treasonous and questioning the actions of our administration is met with a love it, leave it or face vicious death threats from total strangers response.
"If you're not with us, you're with the terrorists."
In other words, if our vengeance isn't your agenda, let vengeance rain down on you as well. And rain it has. Patriotism has come to stand for a campaign of dominance, violence, oppression, torture and bullying militarism. The hate filled, devisive rhetoric of the new American patriots has done violence to us, our countrymen, our nationalism and our meat and potatoes.
This isn't my America, that isn't my flag, these aren't my countrymen and that is not my patriotism.
And so it is that I come to today's music selection. Somewhere between the hate mongering right wing "patriotic" garbage and the first real thoughts of becoming an ex-patriot, two years ago this song came across my headphones, and I fell in love -
-in love with the simple beauty of a songwriter's tribute to the land of the free and the home of the brave.
On this the five year anniversary of 9/11, I present a little bit of American pride.
Bush's America isn't my America, and I won't let my America be stolen from me.
The basics... I'm 34, a feminist, lesbian, vegetarian, cat owning aspiring writer/director. After 27 years of fucking around telling myself my dreams weren't practical, seven years ago in a story that has now become legend in my life, I packed everything I owned and moved to Brooklyn to pursue life as a writer and theatre director. It's a very Madonna-esque tale ($800 cash to my name, nowhere to live, roaches, starvation and a crazy Turkish roommate) that I'm sure I'll be telling, but not now. For now, suffice it to say that this story, still in progress, has a happy ending. Or a happy middle, seeing as how I'm nowhere near being finished with anything. Life in Brooklyn is funny, scary, occasionally really hard, and everyday testing me as a person and a survivor. I think I'm passing. At least I wake up smiling every morning. The city is my lover, and like all truly great relationships, I love who I am when I am in it.